He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
