So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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