Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
