TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
