i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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