That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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