If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
