I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
