just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
