i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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