i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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