The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
