i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
