I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize