i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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