his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
