Your face is a jimmy john
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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