Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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