bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize