my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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