So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
