ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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