That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
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I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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