5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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