You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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