You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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