this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
