How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
