you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
