Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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