Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
