6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
