He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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