you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
