Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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