he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
