We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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