Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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