We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
