you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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