white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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