redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
