I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
