what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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