Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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