Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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