my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
