And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
