Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize