its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He passed out mid-signature
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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