Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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