you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
