Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
