i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
