By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
