Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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