tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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