Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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