It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
